The Wheelbarrow!

Have you ever been hurt?
Truly hurt?
I mean cut to the core?
Let it go!

Have you ever trusted someone?
Truly Trusted?
And they were not trustworthy?
Let it go!

Have you ever hoped against hope?
That your relationship with someone
Could be refreshed
Like the keystroke
On the computer?
Let it go!

Have you ever felt abandoned?
Mis-placed?
Questioning?
And then hurt all over again?
Let it go!

Where do you go?
To Him

John 10:10- I have come that you might have life- and have it to the fullest.
I can’t be full of HIM until I let go of them.

So today
In the back of my mind
I picked up some people
Put them in a wheelbarrow
And pushed them over the hill
I let them go
I can’t go pick it back up

Now I can have HIM-
I can be filled

God- help me not to try to pick up the pieces
To have the courage to let it go
Even though the pain inside of me
The insecurities that tear within me
beg me to try again with
Scotch tape- and piece it back together
The Lord says no
Live free
Let it go!

Traffic Jams and thoughts of Mr. Rogers

So I am thinking while stuck in my car today for one hour and 45 minutes (huge accident alert) that what would have been so wrong with dating Mr. Rogers?

He had a neighborhood

He was versatile- he could go from dressy to casual in 30 seconds or less

He had a great sweater collection

He can hold a tune

He has jazzy sneakers

He knows how to tie his own shoes

He had a great side part

He was an ordained minister

And I bet he would have been great at parties with all of the voices he made.

Then I switched over to cleaning out my car with wet wipes

It is amazing the little white dust bunnies that are left behind with wet wipes

Then I gather all of the trash together and put it in my target trash bag

Then I organize my purse

I organize my wallet

At this point I am thinking- I want to see body parts laying on the side of the road I have sat there for so long.

Have I mentioned to you that my air does not work?

That I was wearing a sweater over my tank top?

That I used John’s Deodorant this morning cause I couldn’t find mine?

That my car was starting to smell like a pine forest from John’s deodorant- (I need to get him a new brand-yuck)

We start to move

I see the cars

No limbs on either side of the road

Just a lady standing there with her purse talking to the police

The other person still sitting in their car

My carnal side would have liked to have thrown hot coffee on them

My ½ way spiritual side was glad they were okay

After being checked by the Holy Ghost I had to be thankful they were okay and that I HAD NOT BEEN in an accident.

Now back to Mr. Rogers……Hmmmmm

So you didn't win the #1 Ribbon....

This past weekend was the ALC Kids Talent Show- Seanna sang with a friend and Emma sang and played Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Emma told me before the Talent show that knew that she was going to win as she was playing and singing at the same time. She told me that if you do both- they have to vote for you.

At the end of the night- her friend Saraiya won. She told me later that night- well I guess I lost a friend tonight. I said what? She said you can't expect me to be her friend when she won and I didn't. I was shocked. Are you kidding- she looked at me through narrow eyes- NO!

I said you should be happy for Saraya- she is your friend and she won. Be happy for her. You still have to be friends if you win or loose.

So last night- I asked her if she was feeling better about her friendship- she said a little bit better but she didn't know if they could ever be as close (I about fell out of my chair).

She said- Mom I am disappointed. I thought I had it- I thought I would have won.
----

There are some things in my life that I feel that way about. Disappointed- I thought I had it in the bag- and walked away with a rustling empty one instead!

Times when I have been expecting something and it never has come to pass
Times when I thought people were my friends and they cut me to the bone
Times when I have confided in someone only to find out they confided my secrets to others
Times when I thought I had things figured out and I didn't
Times of feeling alone, deflated, and unappreciated

I have been disappointed too
It might not be over a Talent Show
I might not be 7 or 8
but it still hurts

We all have felt that way
That is why it is vital that we reach OUT to each other
Help someone out
Give someone a hand
or better yet a hug

So today you didn't get the #1 ribbon
Love your friends harder
And give yourself a big hug!

Emma and Kirby

So Emma is totally consumed with caterpillars lately. When she was at the babysitter on Friday a little nest of them opened up. She has two babies living in a bug catcher. I won’t allow them in the house (I know mean Mother alert). So last night on the way to John’s Mom’s house- she was talking to the baby caterpillar I the backseat.

Hi little baby
It’s Mamma
Did you miss me?
I know you have been freezing outside in the cold-but your Grandma is very mean (that would be me-cylinda) and she won’t let you in the house.
Uh Oh- You just went poo poo on my arm. How are you going to wipe your bottom?
Do you need me to give you a leaf?
She looks for a tiny leaf
Here I will wipe your bottom.
I said do you need a wet-wipe Emma?
Emma- No Mamma- they use leaves- not wet wipes

She said and I know you think he uses a bottle and milk too but he eats crunchy leaves for water. I said- I hope it is not the one that you just wiped his little bottom on.

Emma- Gross Kirby (that is his name) you have a gross, gross, Grandma- should we pray for her?

The Fall of death that brought life!

The fall of death that brought life.

This week I heard on the news of a man falling down an empty elevator shaft 2 ½ stories to land on another lady who had fallen before. When she fell- it rendered her unconscious so she could not call for help- etc. By him falling on her- it caused her more damage (internal bleeding from the fall) but brought her life. He had a cell phone and could call for safety for both of them.

She is now in critical condition.

This is how my life has felt at times. I have had people that I have come to emotional blows with. People that have knocked me out flat on my feet- but really were used in bringing me life.

I had a conversation today with a friend who is going through some conflict in her life. Of all people (shocker) it is a person that is in her church- in ministry with her that is bringing her pain, miss-comfort, and really some internal spiritual bleeding. As we talked we changed the subject to the fact that a lot of times the LORD allows this to bring us to the point of shape me God. Whatever you want, whatever you are doing in the crazy time is fine with me. Whatever you need. She said that she could not have imagined herself saying it before but was ready to do whatever, go wherever, and be the person he wanted her to be.

So in the spiritual- while a brother/sister in the Lord – can get under your skin- can even drive you into insanity –why not stop and say – Thank you Lord. You are bringing new life to me. I might have died on the vine with out these thorns in my next. I might have died from lack of movement. I might not have accomplished all that you want in me.

Are you going through some weights, some pressure, and some resistance in your life? This is bringing you new life. Right now you might be in the internal bleeding stage- you can hear the beeps of the machines in ICU, you may feel speechless as you are being intibated by the trying of your faith. But this is a season. When you arise you will be stronger than ever. And have a willing ear –ready to listen to his leading voice!

The fall of death was only meant to bring you life!

The Call, The Missionary, The Child, The Need

They have accepted the Call.

Who will accept their children?

They have gone to the uttermost parts of the earth.

Who will go the extra mile for their children?

They are serving while we sit at home in comfort.

Who will serve their children?

We see our children daily as they develop from babies to toddlers to children to tweens to teens to adults and then give us grandchildren.

Who will wipe our missionary’s tears when they send theirs off to the US for college?

When they miss their grand child’s first smile?

When they can’t hold unto their grandbabies pudgy little fingers or see that first step?

Who will stand up for their children?

I daresay that if a congregation of 140 people in the US without a Pastor called for help…men and women would be waiting in line to be their next leader!

Yet, who will minister to the body of 140 MKs across the world and over 300 now living in North America?

Who will touch their lives?

ü Answer their phone calls when they are lonely?

ü Help them when self-doubt floods in?

ü Celebrate their victories?

ü Give them quick hugs- and pray hard for them even into the night?

Who will let them know that it is okay to be the only MK in their country?

That there is a body of believers behind them?

That we think they are God’s number one Priority?

Who will?

We will!

But, we can’t without you. Help us Help our MKs!

Only 17 more partners at $50.00 a month will open the doors to their full time ministry office.

Is that person that will make a difference you?

Will you shape the life of an MK?

Sign up today to become partners with MK Ministries!

www.upwithmks.com

Be a contributor today- your $50.00 a month will make the difference around the world!

Last but not least....

This is what my piggy bank looked like today after filling up my cavalier with gas!

New meaning to being two faced....

This freaks me out- have you seen this on the news? Poor little thing- and they are worshiping her. COME ON PEOPLE!!

I wonder if she will be able to harmonize with herself when she gets older?

Okay I will stop! Really I hope for health and happiness for her and her family.

So.......

Lighten up out there. Everyone I have been talking too has been going through so much lately. Look at this little cute guy...he lives in the ocean, he has mis-matched spots on his forehead- the dermatologist in his part of the reef is booked up- but he is happy.

live
Breathe (or suck in water through your gills)
You only get this journey once

Smile!

Emma's Birthday- April 2nd

Friday is Emma's Birthday- She is going to be 7. She called me about 6 times last Friday telling me what she wanted.

Call number 1- A frog
No

Call number 2- A frog with a cage
No

Call number 3- a frog with a cage and a rock to jump on
no

Call number 4-More pet-shops (she has litterally about 90 of them)
no

Call number 5-a frog petshop
no

Call number 5- a Barbie bike that has a place for Barbie to ride on front
Maybe

I am still vetoing the frog,cage,rock,petshops

But today I went to look for the Barbie Bike

SHH

High Heels in High Places- March 30th

So this past Sunday was a little crazy. We had a potluck at church (Cylinda's contribution- sodas)- John and I teach Sunday School, then Kids Church. So I left at the end of Kids Church to go over to the speak at a ladies meeting.

They had a lunch there and then I was to speak to the ladies.


My topic was High Heels in High Places. I had the book- don't think I am that witty. So I had my outline done and Saturday Morning- The Lord was like- if they would have needed that they could have read the book. Wow- Thanks God.

So I studied for four more hours and followed His will. Talked about the Climbs in your life.

The first thing I did was give my book to the person who had the highest heels on {You have to break the ice somehow}

The Lord calls us to climb for our families- Abraham-Isaac
The Lord calls us to climb for our people -Moses- ten commandments
The Lord calls us to climb for our friends- Friends of man with palsy
The Lord Calls us to climb for our completion in Him-Prodigal Son

The prodigal son went from a give me attitude to make me attitude. The thing that brought about the change in his life was the hunger.

God is good. They were sweet ladies. May he give them More Hunger for HIM!!

Mom- I have Fifth Disease but I am 6- April 2nd

So Emma's face has been a little rosy lately- but I am thinking it is because she is getting a new molar in. I write a note to the teacher (ever the great parent that I am)

I am 15 minutes down the road. Cell phone rings.
Mrs Nickel.
Yes
Can you come and get Emma right now please?
What is wrong?
She has a rash going down her arm. It is bad.

I call John- John I am stuck in traffic can you get her.
Yes

I call the Dr to make an appt- they can see her at 9:30

In the car I pray, and try not to think of dreadful thoughts.
We were at John's Mom's house last night
What if she took that little tea set Penny gave her and drank water out of it?
What is a spider bit her?
What if she at food out of a container mice walked in?
What if she has the disease that killed my brother?
What if?????

Finally I tell myself out loud in the car (yes I did)
STOP CYLINDA- God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.

I call John- call me as soon as the Dr tells you what it is.

Okay

Tick Tock Tick Tock.

Cell phone rings
it is John
No It's Emma

Mom-
Yes Emma- are you okay?
yes Mom- I have Fifth disease but I am actually 6.
My frantic fingers google Fifth disease.
Will she live?

Let me talk to your Dad Emma
Okay
John- what is it?
It's not a big deal- he explains what it is- google is confirming it while he talks

I can feel the weight leaving my chest, shoulders, and mind.

Thank you God.
90% of your worries never happen
Today I was just not sure if it was a 10% day!

To know your Father....

Hey blogging buddies- I have missed you too. Thanks for the “kind” emails reminding me to blog J I have been over the activity limit in “doing” lately so trying to catch up.

Every free night from church except for Monday Nights (family night) we go up to John’s Mom’s House to clean it out. Forty years of living in one house has a tendency to snowball things. Add this to laundry, girls, homework, church work etc it has been a tad bit much lately J. I might also add in the kindest of ways that she did not like to throw out anything so there is quite a lot to go through. On the positive note- My sister in law Penny is a thrower-outer so this helps.

When I married John I knew that his Dad died when he was 8. Penny was 6. They have little memories of their Dad. Their Dad was about 20 years older than their Mom. So for the past 11 years in knowing John and 10 years of marriage I probably could fill a ½ a sheet of notebook paper (double lined) with knowledge of August Nickel my Father in law whom I have never met.

Last night we got to the room which was his “office”. It is tucked away in the back of the house behind another add on room. As I headed into his “office” I realized that my Nancy Drew instincts had kicked in- and I was trying to glean anything about him from what had been in that room 30 years. I found that he loved the ham radio, that he loved to collect stamps, and that he worked for Eastern Airlines in their telecommunications department. (Which is wild as John is an electrical engineer for Alltel wireless). That he had big strong block handwriting, and his desk was in tack that way he had left it. Now mind you John’s Mom had since added piles and piles and boxes, and baskets of stuff around it. The Madame Alexander Dolls in boxes, The Mork and Mindy Dolls, the Elvis dolls, the Marilyn Monroe dolls, the craft supplies, and the long time misplaced Christmas card etc. We found them all.

As I looked for “clues” about this man I realized- he was private- and was really in his own world. To see the details, the note taking, the ham cards- it all represented hours that he was back there logging, cataloguing, and putting his things in order. What was left? His stuff was in order- but I didn’t know him. I found his Eastern Airlines briefcase- but don’t know who he had worked with. I found the papers he signed on the house- but don’t know how he felt when he bought that home for his family. I don’t know if he hands were smooth or rough, what he liked to eat, what he smelled like, how he laughed. I saw his habits, his likes, his ways- but I don’t know the man.

I thought about my Father. I have so many details of him in my mind (for he is wrestling with Mom and the girls for the number 2 position in my life) that it just spills out. I reference him in my stories, I act like him, I can talk to anyone just like him. I love to laugh- I can hear his laugh in my ears. I love his creativity, his mischievous ways, his wisdom, his caring attitude to everyone he meets, that way that he makes you feel like you are the most important person in the room. I know him. And some days like today when he is far away in Brazil- I can close my eyes and see his crooked smile.

Which “Father” represents your relationship with your heavenly father? My relationship with Him? Do I know him- but only by the facts and not his voice? Have I read his book- but couldn’t really point him out in a crowd? The Bible that I have memorized since I was a child- do I live it? Do I bring him honor? Or just do what people tell me to do? Do I really want to get to know him?

Paul said- That I may know him- and then he added and the fellowship of his suffering. I think there is a knowing and then there is a knowing. The past few months I have gotten to know him on a different level. I have felt his hands, heard his voice, felt his nearness, followed hard after him-even in the alone time, the awkward times, the hurting times. I am not where I want to be for sure- but I think I know him a little more. I haven’t even scratched the surface- but I can’t get enough of Him.

So about 180 bags of trash later- I stop- dust the mouse droppings off of my head (yes I about scalded my skin off while showering last night) and say. Guys- I am ready to go home. This house will be here tomorrow. I smile as I drive home –knowing that the hardest room in the house has been conquered- one bag at a time. Now-onto the car-port!