The trampoline stands in the back yard still- unmoving. Every time I drive by the house it remains the same. It won’t change. It can’t. The jumpers that used to jump on it were shot. By their Mother- who then took her own life.
I have to make myself stop driving by the house. I have to tell myself to stop. This does not help. My obsession with driving by won’t bring the children back, won’t cause the suffering to end for their Father, for the grandparents, for their friends.
I had to cry as Emma asked me after it happened- what if you do that to me Mommy? What is that happens to us? I assured her that this would not happen. That she was in a safe home. That Jesus was there with us.
I went to my room that night thinking- What if I had prayed more walking by her house? What if I could have been her friend? Could I have made the difference in her life?
I can’t go back in time. But I have more neighbors that I can reach, more people in my life that I can help, more co-workers that need the touch of the master!
Have we as a people become so callused that we can pass by those in need and only look inward to our secure bubble? While others are in pain be glad that our friends and family are safe? Only weep when one inside of our club has been hurt? Only pray when it is a close connection. I pray to God not. I pray that we can as Jesus did weep for our cities, weep for those who are in need. Reach out. Help others. Show them Him.
I know that in this case I failed. I don’t want to fail again. I want to show others HIM!