Friday, February 08, 2008

To My Sweet Baby- Written on 2/5/08


Friday- February 8th-
This is the last of the notes about the baby. I am moving on in blog-land. This is something that I had written on Monday. Writing is a release for me- and this was one of them that I will share. John said to me after my surgery- This will be a great tool for your ministry when you speak at your ladies thing-ies in the future (gotta love husbands) I told him - I don't care about speaking at ladies thing-ies anymore.

Thanks for all of your prayers- My fever broke last night in the night- and my cold is so much better. After a week and 1/2 I am starting to feel more normal. That is until a "sweet" lady in the coffee line asked- so what does it feel like to know you have a dead baby inside of you? I looked at her and said - WHAT? She said - Oh I'm sorry was that too personal (do you think?) "So what was the surgery like? How long does it take to recover?" I just smiled and moved on (HIS GRACE is sufficient- repeat 5 times)

Here it is- to my baby:

I know

I know I’ll never see your cute little face
Hold your tiny hand
See your long eyelashes
Or even tell you when it hurts I understand

I know I’ll never give you a hug
Change your first diaper
I won’t be able to tell you- don’t be scared
It’s just a bug!

I know I’ll never put a band-aid on your knee
Pray over you at night
Or hear you laugh with glee.

I know I’ll never hear you coo
Say Mama Or Dada
Or get to play peek a boo

I know we’ll never have any of those “firsts”
But I do know this-

I love you with all of my heart
You are heavens little Deposit straight to up above
How special you are
For you see-
He wanted to see you first

So today- Its hard, it hurts, and I don’t understand
But the one who’s holding you now
Is also here holding my hand

I know I love you sweetie
I can’t wait until I get to see your sweet little face
You have a family in heaven
A family on earth
For the wee weeks that you were here
You made the world a better place

I miss you-

Mommy

2 comments:

Jim and Linda Poitras said...

Cylinda:

Dropped by and read your precious poems. Just want to remind you that the Poitras family cares for you.

Girly Muse said...

Cylinda,
So sad to hear about this. Your poem is beautiful...made me cry.
We lost three babies. It is so hard to get through. Maybe our kids are up in heaven playing together right this very minute. It's nice to imagine, isn't it. :)
Love you.