Thursday, October 06, 2011

I just walk around by myself a lot smiling and hoping.......

I don't have a group to hang around with- so I just walk around by myself a lot smiling and just hoping that someone will ask me to come over and hang out with them.

That is a private conversation that I had with a little girl that lives in my house this week.

The struggles of moving into a different school
The struggles of finding that perfect fit
The stuggles of dealing with friends moving on and not taking you with them.
The struggles of not having that person who will sit and giggle with you the entire 1380 seconds of your lunch break.

My heart has been broken this week.

Not just for the seeing and hearing about the daily throws of the trials of growing up
But my heart has broken because I can't wave a wand and just fix it- I can't make it all better.

So in the busiest week of my life- I have been stopping a lot to give hugs, to laugh extra long at the jokes she tells me, to surprise her with not-so-ovious little gifts- and to compliment even the tiniest of accomplishments.

As I sat and prayed for her this afternoon I thought of how HE must feel when we are not connecting.
How it must hurt him all the more knowing that he stands ready with the answers, the solutions, the balm of Gilead- but we don't stop to talk to HIM about it. We run to every resource but him.

I asked the Lord to forgive me for trying to be the Belle of the Ball and not pausing long enough to thank the HOST of my life for having me over.

As for my little one- she will make it. She will emerge stronger because of this. After tucking her in and saying prayers with her tonight I came back to my computer to finish up some work. She sent me a text from her phone. It simply said- Mom thanks for loving me and being there for me. You make even bad days great.

Tomorrow at 6:00 AM we start this whole process again. She is going to have a great day!


Girly Muse said...

Her text to you made me cry. I love her.

This breaks my heart. It is so hard to go through these things as a kid.

Will be praying for her to keep smiling and that the Lord will send her a kindred spirit kind of friend.

Hug her for me, please.

Kathy McElhaney said...

That first sentence... oh, I just want to hug her and hang out with her. Smiling and hoping ~ what a sweetheart.

Praying that someone will notice how awesome she is soon.

pressonponderings said...

I went through a similiar experience, and my mom began praying that the Lord would send me an extra special friend. AND He did! The friend is still one of my best, and I will never forget how much my mom cared. Your little one won't forget your part in this chapter of her life either!

Cylinda Nickel said...

Thank you all for your sweet comments. I know that it WILL get better! Love you all!

Michelle Palmer said...

I could just as easily be that girl you are talking about. Moving around does make it hard to find forever friends. Love that you are one of her best! I want that with my babies!!
Love you