Tuesday, February 03, 2009
Just because in the last two days I have eaten 497 Oreos does not mean I am not going to be healthy this year- just don't expect 12 sticks of butter off my bottom this week!
Just because Emma or Seanna have been sick for the past three weeks- Emma with fever the last four days- does not mean that I am underwriting KLEENEX. I rebuked sickness from my house today. They are going to school tomorrow fever or not.
Just because I have not had to see my OB in 365 days..... and tomorrow is one year and a day to the horrible day I lost my baby. I will not fall apart when I have to go to their tomorrow. I refuse to to.
Just because I still don't have answers for everyone who is asking- where is Verizon moving John? What is his new position? Does he have a job? When are you moving? Are you still moving to AR? Doesn't mean that GOD DOESN'T have the answers because HE DOES. I am ready for him to clue me in- any day now!
Just because I don't feel the creative juice the size of a ketchup packet does not mean that I will never be creative again- just not in the next two hours.
Just because I didn't laugh at your jokes on the phone today doesn't mean I don't like you it means I am distracted. I'm sorry. I actually love you.
Just because I ran out of Carmex and Blistex and my girls lips are literally bleeding does not mean I will run to the store today. Diaper Rash ointment should work right?
Just because you are complaining that you have had chicken for three nights in a row does not mean you will not have it tomorrow night. And YES I WILL COOK IT IN THE CROCK POT AGAIN. If you don't like it you are 7 and 9 - go get a job and buy hamburger meat.
Just because you think I should always be calm, or hopeful, or perky for you, I am not. Some days I don't want to be upbeat, calm, or perky.
Just because you want me to share my scotch tape with you- I don't necessarily have to. I only have about two inches left and then what will be do if there is a Scotch Tape Emergency?
Just because I miss my Mom today does not mean that I will get to see her. I am forty, I have two kids and one husband and I miss my Mom every day.
Just because I want to hold my baby that I lost a year ago today- doesn't mean that I will get to today, or tomorrow, or in the near future. But I will get to in heaven. Mom, Renee, and Grandma are great babysitters.
Just because this blog is jumbled, silly, frustrated, frazzled doesn't mean that my God has failed me - because HE HAS NOT. It does not mean that I am frustrated with him- because I am not. It does mean that I am sure that JOY is arriving soon and when it arrives- it is going to recognize me. I am the one that locked myself in my office today and made myself praise.
Lord- take my crazy thoughts, my jumbled life, make it somehow beautiful and acceptable in your eyes today. Thanks for your provision. Thanks for my sweet girls- for my strong wonderful husband who loves me, winks at me, and even finds me attractive when I have Oreos in my teeth! You amaze me Lord- you really do!