Thursday, January 29, 2009

Squirmy- the $15.00 Target Card Challenge


Squirmy. Isn't that a great word? I love words. I love books, writing the whole nine yards - but I hate grammar. In fact if you are well read and love grammar I don't know how you can abide my blog. So you get huge high fives today for reading it regardless.

I have a great friend, who started out as my co-worker and ended up as my boss and his name is Alan. He is my brother I think in some sort of strange way. He can finish my sentences, keep up with my random thoughts, and even falls out laughing at things that I do. John- my husband, and Stephanie-his wife just look at us like we need to be put away for good. But we sit and laugh and laugh. Any whooo (yes grammar kings and queens I did that on purpose) Alan hates high fives. They make him squirmy. He would rather lick the bottom of your shoe than to give you a high five. He would rather clean your lent between your sofa cushions than give you a high five. He would rather pick up cigarette buts from the parking lot than to give you a high five. I think you get the idea right? It makes him feel awkward- like what if you miss hands mid air? What if you hit the person too hard? I am not sure how it makes him feel- but one thing I do know it is makes him feel squirmy.

So on to the word. I was thinking of the word squirmy today and I was trying to think of things that made me feel that way. One of the hugest squirmy moments is when I am opening up gifts in front of people other than my family and close friends.

You know the feeling. The gift is so beautiful, it is wrapped by a professional- but you just don't know how you are going to feel about it's contents. You already have the "I am going to love this" look on your face while you unwrap it's contents. You tell your self no matter what- I am going to squeal with glee- as I uncover it's goodness. Yet, when you open it up the gift is so lame, so unfitting, and so weird that you have a look of horror on your face. They immediately question- do you not love it? You cross your toes in your sandals and pray no one is looking. Like it? I love it your proclaim! You pray to God that lightening will not destroy you, your furniture, or your daughters 2000.00 American Girl doll that is neatly propped next to you on the couch. I say all of this to say- that is a time in my life when I feel squirmy.

Walking into new churches makes me feel squirmy as well. You know what I mean. The greeters meet you at the door with their little clip boards. They want want you to fill out all of your information. They immediately ask you 700 things about your life- all the while forgetting your first name. That makes me feel squirmy.

I was talking to a friend the other day who had moved into a new town. She told me that she visited a new church where she did not know anyone. The hostess met her and her family at the door. They waited while she filled out her card. She was so nervous by this ladies constant chatter that she forgot how to spell HER LAST NAME. I kid you not. That is a time when you feel squirmy. The greeter then followed her and her family to the sanctuary where she proceeded to make small talk with them until the music started. Let me just at this point just share with you that John would have passed out by now. HE HATES SMALL TALK. Back to my friend- she felt squirmy.

So now that I have repeated this word four thousand times in this blog- What makes you feel squirmy. If you come up with a funny one instance, or one that everyone comments on, or appreciates the most- you will win the $15.00 Target card this week!

Yahoo- Comment Away- and good luck to you squirmy people!!

18 comments:

Mock Family said...

Hey, C.S. (or, I guess C.N...?). Great Blog today. You know, I'm not really aiming for a Target card, but I wanted to comment about what makes me "squirmy."
Public restrooms. Some more than others. Nuff said.
Take care.

Kathy McElhaney said...

At first I thought, "I'm not squirmy!", then several things that make me squirm came to mind! I might be more squirmy than the average worm...

1. Hearing other people eat when I am not eating. I'm fine if we're all eating, but if I'm reading a book and you're munching chips - squirmy!

2. People who step into my personal space when talking. There's a man from my home church, I think he's basically blind, coke bottle glasses, etc. He cornered me not long after my mom passed away (his wife was one of Mom's best friends). So he's telling me all these nice things about my mom, but with each story his face is getting closer and closer (I'm talking mere inches) to mine. I keep stepping back, back, back... until I bump into the wall. So while I'm smiling and saying "thanks for saying all those nice things," I'm squirming big time!

Melinda said...

The other day, when I walked up to a boy in the cafeteria, trying to be all smooth, and the words that popped out of my mouth were exactly the following:

"Hi! Are you having a seizure?"

(please pause and fully digest that little piece of literary genius 'Are you having a seizure?')

....

That made me squirmy.

Cylinda Nickel said...

Oh My Lord Melinda I literally have Diet coke on my computer screen now after that one. TOO FUNNY

Thad- I got squirmy reading about bathrooms- oooh another good one- the attendants that try to give you paper towels in bathrooms. Like you can't tear your own.

Kathy- I am HUGE on don't get into my personal space and got the shivers reading about you being shoved into the wall due to no space issues. LOVE IT!

Tamara said...

I remember a vivid squirmy moment!! It happened at church. We were having a business meeting last year and we have a few VOCAL men in our church. Needless to say it started getting out of hand. Comments were made, accusationis were flying and microphones were thrown down. I was in my seat wanting to leave but, so glued to what was going on. Heated debate on selling part of our property!! WOW, opinions flew left and right and it actually caused a split from our church! It was so bad it's referred to as "The Business Meeting of 08". ha-ha!! Squirm away uncomfortable people!!

Cylinda Nickel said...

ouch- that is squirmy.... I felt it as I read it :)

Girly Muse said...

hysterical blog. i love it.

i get squirmy when someone says something rude to me and i get splotchy from head to toe. my squirmy-ness gives me away, hangs me out to dry and that makes me squirmier. squirmier, hmm, nice word.

i could loan you eats, shoots & leaves if you'd like. :)

when someone else has food in their teeth, but won't stop talking for me to let them subtly know, i get squirmy.

also, when i know I have something in my teeth, but can't stop talking to subtly get it out, i get squirmy.

sorry, you hit a squirmy nerve. LOL

amberle said...

hmm..squirmy:

1. When you are talking to someone on the phone (or I guess face to face works too) and all of a sudden...silence....my mind races to think of something to fill the void.....AHHHHH...Awkward....squirmy.

2. One of the squirmiest moments I can remember? The day your mom came to me during an altar call at a church in Africa and said, "Amberle I think you need to teach the group about Kids Prayer what do you say?" My mind screamed "say no, bail, run!" my mouth said "Sure Sister Shirley, but can I have a couple of days to prepare?" (well not quite that confidently, and I probably looked like a deer in headlights.)SQUIRMY!! (Did i mention the electric went out the day I taught so we had no air, and i tried to adapt m&m praying using skittles? Couldn't find M&M's anywhere!!

Girly Muse said...

in the middle of the night, it hit me that it sounded like i was implying you NEED that book. i was not!!!

your writing is GREAT. :)

just was bringing up the book because you said you hate grammar. haha

Kandra T. said...

African restrooms... SQUIRMY! Oh and Shaking strangers hands... again... SQUIRMY!

Andrea Soto said...

a few years ago I was the church secretary (speaking of business meetings) and so I was taking notes during the meeting, listening intently to everything that was going on. a motion was made to approve something. "All in favor say 'Aye'" 'Aye'. All opposed 'Nay'. (ususally at this moment there's silence, but for some reason I was just repeating what I was hearing, and I said...) 'Nay'." There was a long pause and everyone looked at me like...what? I just said, "Oh I didn't mean to say that!" oops...you know I didn't include that in the minutes. and I'm not the secretary anymore. Oh well.

Tiffany Bracken: said...

You know how it is when someone offers you something to eat and then stands there to see if you eat it? And it never fails to be something that I totally would never choose to eat on my own. Squirmy! Or worse, you do not know what they are offering you!

#2- Arriving at a function and not knowing where to go or sit! I hate those awkard moments when you are standing there and you feel that everyone is looking at you!

Great post!

Tracie Smith said...

Squirmy ..... waiting to see who is going to win this prize....like filling out the drawing for the giant stocking to be given away @ Christmas and you don't even have kids to enjoy it....squirmy....

Cylinda you are a trip! LOVE YOU, GIRL!

Melissa Hineman said...

Squirmy is how I used to feel riding the Long Island Rail Road to work in NYC every day -- and no matter where I sat, I would always ride home with the guy who decided to clip his NAILS the whole 40 minute train ride back from NYC!

I could be sitting at the end of the car and it was like I had supersonic dog hearing -- I could still hear him..clip..clip..cliping away -- Oh so Squirmy

-Melissa

Renee said...

Squirmy...when people ask you personal questions and you have to figure out an answer on the spot without "technically" lying. I haven't gotten to the stage where i can say I'm not answering that!
Squirmy...when people begin saying inappropriate things because they think you feel the same way (racist remarks, sexist remarks, basically socially unacceptable behavior). I HAVE gotten to the point where I will say that's not acceptable to me!

Paula said...

I have to agree with Renee -- squirmy times when you're sitting at the table with people you only met hours ago, and will probably never see again -- and discussions come up that make you squirmy. Ick.

Or people say something that they obviously think is hilarious, and you try to muster up a laugh.

Squirmy!

LK said...

ok this is a little graphic and may make you giggle...

i sell wedding dresses... and this one time... at my bridal store... there was a bride (who was white) who was marrying a black man... well their mothers had never met and the bride trying on dresses was the first time they had got together.... so we were trying on dresses and we have a big open communal dressing room, and another bride (a white girl also) was trying on dresses and not wearing a bra... (guys avert your eyes, dressing room graphic talk ahead) so the black mama says "OMG her nipples are PINK, what man would ever want to be with a woman with pink nipples"... to which the bride (who was marrying this woman's son) replied... "um... I have PINK nipples...." SQUIRMY MOMENT....

:-) Lacrecia

Cylinda Nickel said...

Okay all of these are making me squirm. I am announcing the winner tomorrow. BIG $15.00 Target card on the way for someone soon!!