Tuesday, November 04, 2008

The Same- Forwards and Backwards-Palindromes

So I have always loved the fact that racecar is spelled the same forwards and backwards. It is my favorite palindrome thus far in my word search journey. You might ask if I have a list of them- Well it just so happens that I do!

Mom, Dad, Wow,toot,tut, tat, Was it a rat I saw?, rats live on no evil star, and on and on and on....

I have not met too many people however that are the same backwards and forwards-day in and day out. I get so frustrated with myself when I become moody, nit- picking, not joyful, not showing the fruit of the spirit like I should. I once did a whole blog on the fruit of the spirit falling off of me and dying as I was trying to get my kids ready for school.

Consistency. Do you know anyone that lives this in front of you? Wouldn't it be so cool to always be that way? John- my husband is like that. He is the same day in and day out. He...and Jesus are my constant. I don't know too many others that I can say that about.

Yesterday marked one year since my Mother-in-law- Bettie died. She was an amazing woman, Mother, and friend to many. She actually died on November 5th but if you go by the day- it was right after midnight on Sunday Night- which was Monday morning. I saw a sadness pass over my husband. Not a "God is not in control" sadness, or a "I want to give up" sadness- but a general sadness.

He was not as easy to smile at me with his crinkly eyes. He didn't find his daughters quite as amusing as normal. I think he was having an introspective day. A day for him to reflect, to have some space and get through it with HIM- his Heavenly Father.

I can't relate to John and Penny's grief. They have been my heroes this past year. I on the other hand would have been a basket case had it been my mother who passed. I was sad, hurt, and grieved, but my grieving was a daughter in law's grief. One only has one mother.

So back to my blog- John has shown me so much about living transparently in HIM. He lives in Him daily. Some people read the word, some people teach the word, but others live the word out-loud for you to see. I am thankful that God allowed John in my life. For not only is he my soul mate- He is a man of God. John's Name means "God has been gracious." In this years process of grief- I have never once heard him question the Lord. I have seen tears flow, I have seen the hurt, and the loneliness in his eyes- But his spirit has only said only thing to me and the girls- "God has been Gracious".

May he continue to lead and guide our lives.

May he wrap himself around you today if you are in the midst of loss, or in a grieving process. Whatever you are facing today I can only take you to the words of the Master- He said, "Don't be afraid. Only Believe." Mark 5:36


Vonnie said...

Wow - so much in 1 year. Kaylah & I were reflecting on that just yesterday. So much has affected us all. But God truly has been gracious to us all!!! Love you.

Cylinda Nickel said...

Praying for you two and your up-coming changes!! God has his hand and direction in both of your lives!! HE has great things ahead!

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Melinda said...

I love John. I don't know how anyone could help it.

See John = smile.