Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Away from the Noise
So this week has not been a peace-filled week for me. I have peace in my heart- but there are some underline things that I don’t have peace about.
Second topic- I really always struggle with balance. John on the other hand does not. Maybe that is why we go married ?. I spend time with the girls and John and I get behind on Children’s Ministry and MK Ministries. I am at work- and I fall behind on my outside sales or MK Ministries. I get caught up on MK Ministries and I fall behind on the house- Oh wait – we don’t have milk, bananas or bread- The kids are snacking on dog food. I have a hard time jumbling the pieces together. I think the pieces fit- I just don’t know how to make them fit-
Tonight- I worked until 5:40- Got to my part of town at 6:40 and met John and the girls to eat. Came home- helped Emma with Homework (John went to the church to paint) helped Emma. Got baths done- a load of laundry in- and knew that I had to hit the house as this is my only free night.
Wait- I need to stop and do something for me. ME? Really? I pace in my bedroom. I am glad the girls are tucked away drifting to bed and John is gone. They would put me in the locked cell if they could see me. I am by myself pacing. I can hear the voice in my head screaming yet not a word comes out. I begin my silent praise as I walk- I then utter what is in my head. I start singing- away- away from the noise (“To worship you I live” Israel Houghton) and begin to claim peace in my life. I then start pacing all over the top floor of my house- Claiming peace, claiming wellness in my household, claiming and proclaiming him, pleading his blood, I start singing, crying, worshipping- and loose track of time. I jump out of my skin as Joe the overweight Daschund is suddenly in front of me staring.
I finish my little worship session knowing that even when I have cried 1000 tears and none of them have come to the surface, that even when I have screamed my lungs out and not a sound has peeped out, even when I have carried 1000 of pounds in my heart without gaining an ounce- that HE has heard me. His peace is there for me. I don’t have to put it all together- He does. That is His job. I just have to try to do my best daily. My heaviest load is passing it over to him.
So today while I was pacing, praying, worshiping, lifting Him up- I prayed for you. I don’t know who you are- but I felt every bit of your anguish. My heart broke for you- If felt heavy as if 100 elephants had stomped there. But the Lord told me to pray until I felt the lifting of the load. I did it. YOU will have victory. I don’t know who you are- It is not important that I know- because he knows.
Whomever you are- the one that is nursing the hurt of 100 soldiers- He has stepped in for you today and called in intercessor all the way in a tiny suburb of NC to pray for you. The lifting of the load is on the way. Inhale Him- He is waiting with peace in His hands for you!