Tuesday, July 24, 2007
The Death of the Longsuffering, Gentleness, Goodness and Peace!
This morning I woke up 30 minutes late for work. The girls had already eaten breakfast, I ran to get my shower and ready for work. Seanna got dressed, hair done. Emma strolls into the bathroom with PJ’s on and was going at the speed of a Turtle on Valium.
I was like hurry Emma (while I am brushing my teeth) we have to get ready fast today. She goes to the bathroom- comes out with pj bottom and no top and her clothes still in hand. At this point I snatch everything from her shove her top on (guys never call their shirts tops- have you noticed that) and say – stand in front of the sink I am going to do your hair. She is standing looking at her shirt in the mirror. It is a red bandanna shirt that has puffy drop sleeves. She starts crying- I don’t like this shirt. It is itchy. (John who is watching the scene starts laughing as he is spelling to me …she is just like her MOTHER). I tell Emma well this is what you are wearing today we are late deal with it. She cries even harder. Now at this point- A 5 star mother would have stopped hugged her and said I am sorry your feel weird in that shirt -lets skip to your room and find a lovely little top for you to wear today. I continue on. Quit Crying Emma. She gets worse and worse. At this point I am having a picture of the fruit of the spirit in my life and Gentleness, Goodness have died on their branches- they are a nasty black color and have just fallen into a heap by the tree. Longsuffering is holding on by a thread.
She is not going to stop. Finally I am done with her hair and grab the shirt off throw it to the ground and say- if you can’t stand the shirt I picked out for you- go in your room and find a new one. (Bamb- Longsuffering bites the dust)
I come out of my room and see her in the hallway. She has on a turquoise and teal turtleneck complete with long sleeves on. Her hair that I just did is now resembling the hair that I started out with. I walk over- yank her sweater off and say this is a winter sweater you can’t wear this. Tears again. I hear the Lord chastening me and saying how many time are you going to make my child cry today? I quickly tell the Lord NOT RIGHT NOW LORD, I am busy. I find a new shirt- get her back in the bathroom- do her hair again and realize that peace has joined the other fruit of the spirit in my fleshly pool of rotted fruit.
I quickly run down stairs, grab my bag. Emma is standing there- Momma – I love you- I promise whatever shirt you put out for me from now on- I will wear it. I am so sorry.
I have to stop – No Emma- Mommy is sorry- I am frustrated at myself for being late and I took it out on you. Please forgive me. At this point my fallen fruit is giving each other high fives and thinking there might be hope.
I race to the car. Put the key in. Crank it. Guess who is out of gas?? Me? I get it started and at this point am praying I can make it to the gas station.
All the way there…I tell the Lord I am sorry. How many times can I fail in the small task? I have to show your fruits. I remind my self I AM THE RIGHTEOUSNESS OF GOD THROUGH CHRIST JESUS. I am a good person. I am a good Mother. I have the fruit of the spirit in my life. I have favor in my workplace today. I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. I am going to do good to others today. The Lord is going to bless me today to bless others. I am going to minister to someone with a need today.
I pull into the gas station and was cut off by a driver. Initial reaction- Honk my horn- shake my first- let them know that they are not getting by with that. Reaction I chose smile- calm myself down and ignore the situation.
As I pull into the parking lot I see my former boss at the next pump. The one that I had witnessed to for 4 years- that I lived my life in front of – but yet who never came to church.
Wow she said- did you see that guy? He tried to cut you off! Yea, I said- He must have been in a rush. Wow she said you are still the same- you just don’t let things get to you do you?
I smiled and thanked the Lord for his Grace. If she only knew!
I finished pumping as I saw the fruit of the spirit giving each other high fives and climbing back on their trees. Now if they can only stay that way today!!
Lord- let me live my life and shine for you. Help me lay aside pettiness and slow down. Help me to hug more, love harder, and lead by my example!