I never expected while walking into Wal-Mart on Saturday that I was entering into the judgment zone. While quickly running in to JUST EXCHANGE some tennis shoes for Emma I found it was becoming increasingly difficult to push my overrunning cart filled with groceries. I hate it when their marketing powers work on me :) Needless to say it was Saturday and the line resembled my lines from 9th grade geometry class. I could barely make out the face of the cashier somewhere up there. I told Seanna she could take Emma over to the NEXT AISLE to look at the books. Well Seanna came marching back sans (that means without) sister. I immediately freaked. I was thinking I should run up to the cashier (But I would be out of breath) and yell. Lockdown, I can’t find my 5 year old. I looked at every close aisle. I prayed and about passed out.
Suddenly over the loud speaker system I heard “Would LINDA who LOST her party come PICK up their party at aisle 23” That was 3 lanes over. I bolted over. There was Emma crying and two elderly ladies hands on hips shaking their heads at me. I suddenly had ESP and read their minds as they said “how can she leave her precious daughter? How could she loose her? She is an unfit mother.” I smiled tightly at them and hugged Emma explaining that Seanna and I had been frantic to find her, that she did the right thing etc. The ladies followed me back to my cart behind squinty eyes. I thought of tumbling over the Joyce Meyers book display on them but listened to the other voice in my head instead! (thinking back- bad choice)
Where did they come from? Do they just hang out at Wal-Mart hoping to find lost children to chide their worried Mothers? All was well and amazingly enough a big hug, cool bottle of water, and her hand permanently attached to the cart made things perfect.
I thought as I drove home. Wow I didn’t know I was in the judgment zone. I could see those ladies as they got together over bingo later still shaking their heads and wagging their fingers. (Or was that wagging their tongues and shaking their fingers?)
My thoughts then went back to what I spoke on at our ladies meeting Monday Night. The journey of giving is one of lives hardest journeys. An old toy, a used piece of clothing, something of no value, that’s not hard at all. But a child that’s a different thing. That is where the journey of Hannah taking Samuel to the temple takes us.
See for years she had nothing to say when the housewives got together over coffee. She never had the smell of Johnsons and Johnson powder in her room. She did not have tiny fingers and toes to bathe. And her husband did not understand. How can you want more? You have my love? It was bad enough that her husband did not understand but he had another wife who mocked her. I can see her downcast eyes, year after year when going to the temple to make their sacrifices, and she was barren. The priest didn’t understand. She prayed so hard that words couldn’t even come out…and he cast her to the side proclaiming her drunken. She said oh no, it’s a child. I want a child, and if HE gives me one. I will return him back to HIM.
Nine months later she had a child. She made sure he always smelled of Johnson and Johnson’s baby powder. And every night she told him the stories of Yahweh and his house the temple. “Only the special boys can be there. Only those that are most loved by their mothers.”
Then the day came when the time of weaning was over. I can only sense the queasiness that must have engulfed her stomach. The pathway of giving up of her son had begun. . I can imagine the housewives with their straw brooms cleaning the sidewalk as she walked passed them. As they judged -she must not love hers the way I love mine. I could never give my child away. But she was on the other end of fulfilling her promise to the Lord. Misunderstanding, judgment, harsh thoughts, quick speculation. All this does- is bring hurt to others.
When actually Hannah was fulfilling her destiny. She was giving back to the Lord what was promised. Buy her giving of Samuel the lord opened up her womb. She had 7 more children.
What is the Lord asking for you to lie on that alter? What do you need to give up so that he can fill you with so much more? The journey of giving- yes its hard. But he can only fill empty vessels.
On a side note…from here on out I am sticking to Target- and hoping for the judgement free zone.
BTW the picture is of one peep judging another in the package. Let them breathe people. Do you need to box them so tightly?
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