Okay so the past few days have been a little weird!! My Dad had surgery on Tuesday- not major- but minor. Tuesday I also found out that My Grandmother had been in the hospital over the weekend and was released. Then Wednesday I get another call that the family was meeting with hospice, and making some decisions. SO............
After meeting with hospice...they decided that she would indeed stay at home with her 24 hour care and have hospice come in twice a day until she passes on. She is at the point where her body can't handle food/water as it aspirates and goes back into her lungs. She will just fade away when the Lord is ready to take her.
So they have given her a week to two weeks. To say that this saddens me would be like saying there is a lot of water in the ocean. She raised my brother and I while my parents were on deputation in kindergarden/5th grade/10th grade/then I lived with them every summer after the age of 11. They had a dairy farm in WI.
So back to the not sleeping.
Wednesday Night I was very tired from crying, accepting all of this etc. Thursday night I was to the point of I would fall asleep and wake up in a panic as I was dreaming that my Grandma was asking me for food and my legs would not work to get to the kitchen to get her any :) Gotta love those kinds of dreams (I still dream that I fail my last class before graduation as well, or that I am about to step out for a part in a play and I don't know my lines) smile. My chest was cramping and my arms and legs :) okay panic much. So Thursday night I got about 4 hours of sleep. Friday I wake up to hear Seanna stay that she was sick (headache, stomachache) and I had to take her to work. So I take her to work. Friday Night- Same delem-onaid. I can't sleep. I wake up to see her reaching out for me. By now you should know I am a hugely visual person and my imagination can also get the best of me. Well Saturday (Seanna is still sick) I make up my mind I will work and work and work on the house and be so tired that I will have to sleep. Well 13 loads of laundry later and a cleaned house...I hit the bed...to look at the ceiling. I slept about 4 good hours again...smile. SO.....
Sunday I wake up at 6:00 and feel sick as a dog. Shaking and vomiting. (why am I sharing this? I have not a clue) I tell myself to buck up and act like a woman. I don't eat. Do the bulletin, finalize the SS teachers mtg ...get some other things done run upstairs vomit 3 more times...get the girls ready...do three sets of hair (mine included not john's) go to church.
The bulletins are being copied...the inserts need to be done...I run over to start the Sunday School meeting. I am 5 minutes into it and start seeing stars. I start shaking and have goose bumps.
SO BEING THE WIMP THAT I AM (I HATE THIS) What do I do?? I START TO CRY like a woos. GROW UP CYLINDA. Then I am like I am not feeling to well. Can you all pray for me? As the Sunday School teachers silently pray why can't we just have a normal Children's Ministry Director...out loud they are praying that I feel better. I make it through the rest of the meeting....to church then home. I SLEPT (WOW AMAZING) for 2 hours. Woke up feeling fresh as a daisy. Went to church. Come home go to bed. For the first night in days I was sound asleep....thump thump thump....A little finger hits my chest...Mom I can't sleep I have an earache. I now say...are you sure? Do you really have an earache? She says yes Mom that is why I am here (I hate it when people are logical at 3:00 AM) I was in wonderful sleepland. So I tell her (like all mothers do at 3:00 AM) go get your pillow and crawl into our bed. SO she does....tap tap tap. Mom it hurts bad. Are you sure?? Yes Mom are you awake or just talking in your sleep? No I am def. awake.
I run down 17 stairs to get Tylenol, thermometer, and little measuring cup for the Tylenol- That only snow-white and the 7 dwarfs would use on a regular basis and head back up 17 stairs.
Seanna is now fully awake 3 pillows propped where I SLEEP and is ready for the chat-a-thon. She is like this is great. We can have Seanna and Mommy time. I am thinking I need Mommy and Sister Pillow time. SO FROM 3AM until 5:45 AM we have it really hurts talking. I fall asleep at 5:45 AM and the alarm went off at 6AM. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Today I replied to emails by just returning them blank. Answered the Phone this is Cylinda How may I direct your call and have dozed off 3 times at my desk.
SLEEP – Try it some time- ITS PRICELESS
This blog has been brought to you by Serta Mattress and the tiny little sheet that don’t show up in my room (I think John shot them)
BTW Seanna is fine- After John took her to the DR she has an ear infection.
Emma is rejoicing that she is turning 6 and suggested on the way to school today that we stay up all night and work on her ladybug party supplies. I think I am opting out!!
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