The Case of the Cookies- February 1, 2007!

Okay...So it is a snow day...and I thought… what would Betty Crocker do on a snow day? Make Chocolate Chip cookies of course.

Well I ain't no Betty Crocker. This can further be explained when I tell you what took place this past fall at my mother’s house. My Mother was making homemade cookies. My 7 year old said what are you doing Nana? She said- Making cookies. Seanna then questioned- Where is the tube? I at that point was praying for my personal rapture after going to the" I am an unfit mother" section of my brain.

Well today- I got out my cookbook that my Mother and Sister in Law made for me. I headed straight to the Choc. Chip cookies page. I remembered in the back of my head that my Mom always doubled the batch. I thought of the company that we are having on Sunday and said- why not- double the batch? Now at this point any other cook would have looked at the recipe and realized my mother had doubled it for me already.

I did not know that 4 1/2 cups of flour and 3 cups of sugar is enough to feed an army in itself. So I got past my "Math is hard" fit and doubled the ingredients. Surely 9 cups of flour and 6 cups of sugar would be perfect. Which for those of you who like me are not up to the bakers of heaven level -this means I am now dealing with a quadrupled batch of cookies. I starting feeling good about my decision after my 6 sticks of butter, 6 eggs, and 6 teaspoons of vanilla; cooking could be fun.

Then the time came to add the dry ingredients. Wow, I thought- 9 cups of flour looks like a lot. Oh well. Then I come to my first blunder- I added baking soda instead of powder. Ever the Nancy Drew- I re-read my recipe in the snip of time finding I needed to scrape off the baking soda and add the powder. Who keeps baking powder in their kitchen anyway? Not me-other than the box that was keeping away odors in the fridge. I prayed that it had not absorbed too many onions, garlic cloves, or peppers. I cut the top off the box and measured 3 tsp. At this point I was glad the film crew from “Cooking and how it takes over your day” was not here today. Although I am sure that today’s session would have made it to the DVD box set.

I now take the "dry" ingredients and try to mix it to the "wet" ingredients. Hmmm. The bowl was already full, but I had a huge bowl of flour etc to add. So I tried anyway. In the futures, when things look too full-do not proceed. It does not fit. Step away from the mixer.

I now called on John who was working in the living room. I explained to him that maybe I had quadrupled the recipe and that I needed him to get the huge “trick or treat” plastic bowl down from the top of the cabinets. (That is why you marry tall folks not a stretch when you are 6'8")
He gave me the bowl and a "you are too weird for words" look. I put the flour and the other batter in the bowl. I went for my trusty "hand mixer" this is great I thought. I have a solution.

When you think you have a solution- you don't necessarily have one. The bowl was deep and my mixer was little. I began to spew cookie batter on the fridge, my shirt, the sink, Joe the dog, the floor, it was snowing batter. John at this point (being ever helpful) tells me not to pull it up- keep it down in the bowl. Really I think? At this point I am wanting to whip some at him! (did I say that?)

I am now thinking I will never get the flour and the sugar to blend, nor will I ever have cookies. I poured a bag and 1/2 of choc. chips into it, and some nuts (whose measuring now- I may have baked bricks of lard for all I know) and prayed for the best. My girlfriend called and I told her about it. She was laughing so hard she had to put the phone down and run to the bathroom. I told her that is what she gets for having three children and no bladder control.

I eagerly awaited the timer to go off. How could 9 minutes be so long? The kitchen looked a mess but smelled great. At the sound of the timer I eagerly opened the door of the stove. They looked normal...they smelled normal. Okay this was going to be okay. I let them cool on a rack. I pulled a little cute one off the rack and shoved it into my mouth! A taste of heaven...they were wonderful.

Now 11 batches later (and still counting) two neighbors are filled with my cookies and I am still going. Hmm. I am beginning to see how then felt in the Bible when they had to gather the jars for the oil. These things sure do multiply.

Maybe that's why I usually cook cookies from a tube!

BTW this blog was not in any way sponsored by Betty Crocker. No animals were harmed in the writing of this blog; however a dog did get cookie batter splattered on his back!

I have to run the timer is going off!!